ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
