I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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