I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Houston, we have a squirter
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
