Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
