the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
