Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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