The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
