Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
