I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
