Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
