that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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