I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
