i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
