remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
