smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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