You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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