where am i from again
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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