i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
