I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
