We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
