he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
