Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
