Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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