The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
