i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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