yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
