how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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