Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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