Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
