so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
