I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it hurts more in the daytime
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
