im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
