i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
