Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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