I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
