do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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