you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
