The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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