You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
