I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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