Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
