My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
