Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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