I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
