we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
