Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
