haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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