I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
whose parrot is this?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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