Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
