he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
