In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
